New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can I color on your dick again?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
