is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
