I must be too annoying 4 u.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize