it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
