the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
