I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
there is puke in my bra ... again
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