So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
