My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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