I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
did i just pee glitter
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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