There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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