i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
