Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
