I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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