lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
