k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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