i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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