If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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