ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
