whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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