I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
