one two three fourrrrnication!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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