you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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