Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize