Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize