I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
