Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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