butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
