Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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