your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
