I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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