john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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