Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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