I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
