so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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