Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize