i was born a porn star she said
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
