he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
