I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize