"it" just moved
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
