Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
