I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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