please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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