Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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