how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
