i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
