Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
