As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
