Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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