the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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