Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
