happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize