My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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