haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
