Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
