Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize