There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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