Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
