Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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