how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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