But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
