Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
