You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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