You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
