The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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